The Pain of Rejection
Rejection is the pain of feeling unwanted or excluded, and it just plain hurts!
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17
Perhaps you have felt you didn’t measure up to your father or mother’s expectations. Or grandparents, teachers, coach, boss, etc. Perhaps you were yelled at. Perhaps other kids made fun of you and called you names. Perhaps you pursued a friendship and it wasn’t reciprocated. Perhaps your best friend dropped you for someone else. Perhaps your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you, or worse—a marriage fell apart. Perhaps someone unleashed their criticism on you. There are a myriad of ways to be rejected in this fallen world! Whatever happened to you, rejection can leave you stinging with feelings of inferiority and worthlessness. Depression, anger, isolation, and withdrawal are reactions that often follow rejection.
You’re not alone!
It’s important to understand that rejection is common to man! Every person knows what it feels like, but not every person copes with it in the same way. Some people can shake off rejection and move on, but for others, the pain of rejection is debilitating and keeps them from fulfilling God’s plan for their lives. Wounds of rejection can cause people to fear relationships with others.
Jesus experienced rejection. Isaiah 53:3 NIV says, referring to Jesus, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” The good news about this is that he not only understands our pain, but he overcame and defeated rejection by his death on the cross, his burial, and his resurrection from the dead. He both can understand and heal us! Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” He sends his comfort and our love to those places of pain!
What can you do to heal from wounds of rejection?
First, it may be extremely difficult, but you must forgive any person who hurt you! Make a list of events or words spoken that have caused you pain in your journal, and one by one go through the list and set your offenders free! Ask the Holy Spirit to help you do it!
Second, pray for the love and comfort of God to fill those places. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter. God is called the Father of comfort. Romans 5:5 says he’s “poured his love into our hearts.” It’s real. Ask God to help you experience his comfort.
Third, deliberately get yourself in the fellowship of other believers who will help you walk with God. You need godly people in your life, though your fears of rejection will scream at you to work this out “by yourself.” Don’t listen to that—get into fellowship! Serve in God’s house. Give out love to others—you will be surprise to see love returning your way! Romans 8:16 says that you belong to the family of God!
Finally, pursue learning how God sees you! Reject thoughts of rejection! No one can do this for you! Tell yourself the truth about God’s love for you! Start listing out scriptures that show you what God is like and who he says you are in his eyes. You are so loved and valued by God that he died for you! If you need to, get some help with this! It’s worth it!
Photo Credit: Unsplash.com